


Pencil

by kaige68



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Community: 1_million_words, Drunk co-workers, M/M, slight Steve/Danny UST
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-27
Updated: 2013-02-27
Packaged: 2017-12-03 20:47:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/702490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaige68/pseuds/kaige68
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Danny and Kono get drunk at dinner</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pencil

**Author's Note:**

  * For [haldoor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/haldoor/gifts).



> A very silly fic written for [](http://haldoor.livejournal.com/profile)[**haldoor**](http://haldoor.livejournal.com/), because she poked me, and for the people at [](http://1-million-words.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://1-million-words.livejournal.com/)**1_million_words** as they are fully awesome.
> 
> This has not been beta read, and I don't own the characters.

On the whole, Five-0 could typically hold their alcohol. They were also generally smart enough not to drink heavily on empty stomachs. That said, there were occasions with mitigating circumstances.

The lunch run had started with Chin and Steve heading out for Chinese, while Danny and Kono began sorting through cold case notes. The plan went south and the food was consumed in a 4 hour span sitting in front of a suspect’s house listening in on a meeting. Kono and Danny were forced to skip lunch in favor of chasing another suspect around the southern half of the island. Stakeouts were conducive to eating. High speed chases, not so much.

The case was put to bed before 7 pm, the Camaro and it’s occupants were scraped, bruised and eager to put the day behind them. The men who’d been idly sitting in the truck all day without ever breaking a sweat, merely watched as the waitress brought two beers and two blue drinks in enormous curvy glasses.

Thirty minutes later, the manager comped the table another round to apologize for a kitchen mistake. They ordered a third round when the food arrived and Steve exchanged a look with Chin that spoke to who would be allowed to drive home and who wouldn’t.

“NO! Really! He had the smallest penis I’d ever seen.” Kono’s words were loud enough to make Steve look around and make sure their table-neighbors weren’t the sort to take offense.

Danny was gasping for breath, he was laughing so hard. “So what’d you do.”

Steve moved the half full blue drink away from the edge of the table.

“I went for it. I mean, he’s got it out and he’s looking so hopeful, plus, you know, what I got was good.”

Danny gestured grandly. “Fair is fair.” He nodded at Kono as she toasted the notion and took another large sip of her drink. “So, exactly” (and Steve wondered if any of them thought Danny wouldn’t go there) “how small is small?” He held up a pinky.

Kono snickered and put her glass down with a little bit of help. “Slightly shorter than others, but really... not thick.”

“PENCIL DICK!” Danny’s palm slapped down on the table as he yelled out. Steve and Chin couldn’t help but laugh, despite what neither of them wanted to know about Kono’s personal life.

“YES!” She shrieked back and slapped a hand over her mouth belatedly trying to be less loud. Her own quick movement shook her balance slightly and her butt slid forward in the seat. She tried to right herself for a few seconds and then waved off the efforts, adding casually, “You would think oral sex would be easier with a pencil dick, but it’s not.”

Danny leaned forward, cupped Kono’s knees with his palms. “I know.” Then he pushed her back to upright. “You think it’s going to be easy peasy. But you don’t have much to work with and you naturally try to overcompensate, and then you’re afraid you’re working too hard and might hurt him.”

Kono raised a hand to emphasize Danny’s explanation was exactly what she meant.

Danny picked up his drink and held it towards her. “They’re worth fucking, but not sucking.”

Glass clinked lightly, followed by Kono’s reverent “Amen, Bro.”

“Wait!” Chin broke in. Steve realized that his eyes were bulging a bit and that he’d been waiting for someone to question what his partner was saying. Someone who could shed reason and enlightenment on the situation. “Since when do you say _easy peasy_?”

“Okay!” Steve set his bottle down with finality. “ _None_ of you are driving tonight.”

The other three laughed and Steve chuckled slightly himself. Kono leaned forward and stage whispered to Danny. “Boss is probably upset about his own pencil dick.”

Her laugh covered Danny’s sincere “I hope not.”


End file.
